Saturday, 30 October 2010

I am smelly and ill and I need pudding

Cows eat grass and from it they produce poo and milk.  I have just been spat at thoroughly by an alpaca.  When alpacas spit they use the semi-digested grass which they would otherwise chew as cud and reswallow.  I can testify that it smells of rancid milk with a hint of poo.  So that's what I smell like now.

It wasn't the alpaca's fault as such, he was scared.  Though it was stupid of him to be scared given that we were only moving them to some better grazing.

Anyway I also have a nasty cold, the sort that gets into your head and makes you feel vague and miserable, so that when you can't get to sleep because of your bunged-up nose you lie awake remembering all the unpleasant things you've ever done in your life, especially things from primary school which you ought to have forgotten by now.  I have lost interest in everything, even my kindle, and can't remember what I do for fun.  In short, I feel miserable, and I smell so bad that even I can smell me.

It's in times like these that I turn to the internet in hope of solace.  This advert for super-size Japanese pudding is the only thing that is making me feel human right now.  I'm going to watch it a few times on repeat to garner enough energy to take a shower.


  1. So, how's the writing going? Give one of your characters a nasty cold, then you can write a vivid description from the heart. (It might be stretching plausibility to give them an encounter with an alpaca).

  2. That's a good point. You're not allowed to start NaNoWriMo until the 1st November, so I haven't started actual writing yet, but maybe I can manage to insert an encounter with cow drool or something. Or an exotic visitor from the east with a camel? This summer my parents were invited to take some alpacas along to a medieval fayre, which they did, because it's best to just roll with these things.