Smart clothes: fight the power!

I'm not naturally a sociable person, or much of a one for joining in, but when I started my fellowship I decided to throw myself into the spirit of the thing heartily, and I have since found myself, with a varying sense of unreality, entertaining visiting bishops; giving my official opinion on pelmets; or dressed up in full academicals, my square doffed, presenting my fingers to be clutched by graduands whom I am recommending to the vice-chancellor in flowery Latin. And why not?

But recently I had this interesting idea to spend more time doing the sort of stuff I like, stuff that is, if you will, a bit more me. Tonight I am not attending the Name Day Feast. I have just received an invitation to a "black tie/white tie" dinner in May Week, but after that I am aiming not to go to any more black tie events for the rest of the decade, and no white tie ones until I am at least fifty. Hurray! People say that dressing up is fun, but they are lying, it is not fun, it is a big hassle, and the requirement to wear smart shoes is costing me significant sums in Scholl Blister plasters. Women often claim that men look better in black tie, but this is another error. All men look like prats in black tie, except for the very thin vacuous ones who look like Bertie Wooster. White tie makes men look like they have disproportionately squat legs, and at this level even women usually don't look good, as they tend to overdo the shiny fabrics. I also very much resent the idea that May Balls, for example, are an intrinsic part of the Cambridge experience. I have never been to one and I've been here for thirteen years. (Although my objections to them are no longer so much political -- oh those posh girls who would leave Student Poverty marches early to go hat shopping! -- as aesthetic.)

To be honest I have long since reinterpreted black tie to mean "no jeans, nice earrings" anyway, and that dinner in May Week will not be getting anything more. And for my birthday next week I am going to have a curry with a friend and watch some DVDs. (I want to find out who Vaughn really is.) Yay!